I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
