we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Every concussion has its silver lining
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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