anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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