Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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