We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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