i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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