I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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