Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
