dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
