I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
