so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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