do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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