So drunk, too bad you don't want this
too bad you live with your parents still
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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