I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I party with great urgency now.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
