i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
