just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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