Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so let's talk penis.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
