I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
This can only be settled by a dance off.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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