Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
