You're a womanizer and a bitch.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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