FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
