That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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