i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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