Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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