How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Can Purell be used as lube?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
