She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
