I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
