What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
