38 yer olds are good kisserssss
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
