It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He did a backflip because drugs
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