I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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