Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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