Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
