just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
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