problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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