I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
