Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
