Kiss
Puke
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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