And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
