neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
