My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
