Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
