I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
