there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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