Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
