doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
