...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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