either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We left the knife in your bed.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
