That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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