so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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